[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

You'll Never Understand...You'll never understand...
But I'm glad you don't.
Because that would mean
You'd have to go through my pain.
And I'd never wish that
For you.

Dear fucked society,Dear fucked up society,
Why do you take our rights?
Our human rights?
To who we love?
To who we are.. To our image?
Tell me.

You force images down our throat;
Images of airbrushed, false looking
people. You want people to look
more skinny and cause anorexia,
More along the hidden line that
you dig under the ground like
a dead forgotten body yet always there

You show us that its not right to be gay,
lesbian, bi-sexual or transgendered..
And then wonder why the suicide rate is
so fucking high. You cause the nightmares
and terrors of our family not accepting us
our

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

Telling Childhood Goodnight.They were the fearless whispers through the starless night.
They were the pounding feet through the cobbled streets,
Screaming out for everything.
They were the fleeting memories of a time long gone by,
Blown away in the wind to a far away sky,
Where the air is cold and the stars never shine.

Memories leave their traces behind,
The scars on my legs from a day long gone by.
I was climbing a rock,
That would forever leave me with a flaw.

They were the youthful cries, screaming out.
They were the glowing eyes, on a fearless march,
Racing down the cobbled streets, blazing out for all to see.
The beacon of light that is now dying out,
I never wanted it to go away.
Everything is changing at a speed I can’t match,
I am drifting further every day.

It makes me want to cry that the best and worst days of my life,
Are being pushed away with every day that passes by.
I want to hold on
But each day I lose more ground.
Soon they will be gone without even a sound.

Th

I don't fight fair...Cut, bruised, scraped, forgotten. These things I have all been at least once in my life. But it
hasn't made me stronger, just more determined in my fight to live another day.
I know the ways of my attackers, studied their movements, learned their tricks and gleamed
their true motives. I have seen their weaknesses, their faults, theirs flaws and I have kept
them close to me, ready for use when the next time we meet.
They are cautious of me, they have weary from my adaptive ways, knowing that I can fall only
so many times. They are scared for I have the key to their defeat; not by sane ways, but by
the ways they fear to tread.
One look, one stare, one gesture and they will run in fear for the truth is upon them: "I won't
live restrained anymore."
"I have seen your errors an played on them like strings on a violin. Moved you to place were I
make the rules. Put you on display for all to see what you have done, and what will be done."

You ha

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

lifelinesI fear the sound of sparrows
and the density of leaves
against dew-muffled blades
of grass,

and I'm drowning
in the sky.

My skin has learned how
to peel itself off
without causing a commotion
in my marrows or
even show the slightest hint
of pain,
and my heart has learned how
to hush the stars in their wake
and keep it all a secret.

There's a sea in my mouth
and I can't swim.

There are lifelines
cast like these and it will
all end with the same tragedy.

the carbon footprint of an arsonistyour crystal promise
rings drip off your glacial
fingers into global

nothings. the geodesic
dome you used to live in
is a hell you keep

clean-shaven and concentric,
spiraling away from you,
wrapping your unborn

children up in paper goblets.
for minimum wage, any geryon
would cling to the terza rima

inkblots on your
collarbones, his spongy molars
diving into your right

angles, his familiar laughs
killing your skin with
shivering cuddles and you

shudder, being self-diagnosed
at center of the universe,
your hair a nest of radio

waves, the one cosmic
principle drumming on the ancient
heart of mystery.

but amateur porn always
made you cry

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

The WaitingBones hang from trees
Hollow windchimes rattling
In the sullen breeze

Dark clouds make noonday dusk
Rusted buttons on threadbare coats
Sorrow drips like rain

(From the fingertips of this dead-rose day)

Hoofprints kill the grass
Where the dark horse steps
The rider unsmiling

The tired and ill amble about
Cattle awaiting the shoulder tap
To sleep, but not to dream

(To become whatever the second birth dictates)

A Charmed LifeDoll-faced men and sinkholes, ancient tombstones
Leaves piled ankle-deep, falling down
Old wells, old graves, old friends lost
Pirate adventures in Neverland
Don't go into that barn

Ponchoboy and Rangergirl rise from the ashes
From the cold river, from afar
Remember before they were born, how they
Held hands and jumped into the world
Don't go into that school

Ladybugs, pennies, notes from the dead sun eclipse
Scrape the inside of your skull for clues
All the old dreams are still there, petrified
You are a rock of ages gibbering
Don't go into that factory

Ashes on the SandWe put you in
a crystal box
small enough for me
to hold in my
hands
(and that thought gives me
chill bumps)
The tide was high
where we took you
and I remember thinking
how pointless it was
(you were just going to wash
up on the shore)
Everyone was quiet
and some people cried
and as you were tossed
out to sea like so
many grains of sand
I thought how much
I missed you
(Now I think how much
I hate you
for leaving)

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Fighting the TearsThey fill up oh so quickly
Now I can't see a thing
I know they'll have to fall
I'll try desparatly to cling

One slips out so saadly
My heart drops like a stone
They all fall tumbling down
And again I'm all alone

It StoppedI want to cut out my heart
And watch it stop beating
Lay it underneath the moon
As my soul would start pleading
I'd close my worn eyes
Though I'm no longer dreaming
Which is why I cut out my heart
And watched it stop beating

TrappedA lost girl trapped alone
In a castle, strong as stone
She couldn't find the key
Couldn't escape and be free
As she struggles to find herself
She gets on a knee to plea
For a Savior to be her knight
She just wants to be free

Her heart may turn to stone
If she's trapped here for too long
The only company she has
Is the melody in her head
It rises from the strings
Up into the sky
She would follow it if she could
But she feels the end is nigh

Why could she not fly
Could not follow the sound
She would rather die
Then stay here on the ground
Alone in her dark confines
She cries alone sometimes
She can't fight the tears no mor

A loss of lovesMy loves have all left
I can't go on
What shall I do now?
Now that they've all gone

Of fantastical beasts
Worlds of magical feats
And adventures of daring
and tricky deceits

A strum of the strings
A stroke of the keys
Of a heart now set free
No longer silently

Of thoughts brought to life
By weapon of graphite
On a world of two dimensions
My fingers did fight

Lost now without
My lovers divine
Can I fight for them back?
Can I claim what is mine?

HateI hate myself
I hate my hair
I hate my face
And what I wear

I hate myself
I hate my mind
My imagination
And all of mankind

I hate myself
I hate my heart
I hate my pain
And how I fall apart

It hurts me when others
Say these things
Yet I feel them often
On poisonous wings

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Keep Going

by ~bleedingAce, Sep 8, 2012, 8:36:27 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Is it over yet?
Suffering in bitter agony
I can't remember what was before
All is lost again with tragedy

My insides screaming out so loud
As they sit and watch me drown
Fake smiles plastered all around
As I quietly break down

I merely keep on fighting
I can't go on this way
But I will not stop trying
There's really nothing left to say

I see you here right now
So please keep holding strong
I will make it through
This is not a swan song

Alone again you feel
Well you're not the only one
Scream out your pain with me
They'll know that we aren't done

You can? You can't?
You think I give a rip?
Please take my hand now
And we'll Just Do It!

And though you've never seen these tears
They've stained this page and filled these words:

If you understand what I have written
Then I know your pain
I wish I could take you away
To a place where Nirvana you could attain

Being righteous is not enough
Though I would try, ceaselessly
What I would give to save us both
That's killing me too easily

I know now that I'm a mess
And I know that I can't save you
But as long I can still carry on
Know that You can keep going too!

Keep Goingby ~bleedingAce

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

As I said with my last poem I haven't been doing well lately. I think I'm on the verge of another breakdown.
Lately I started thinking about other people who might feel like I do. And, stupid-overly-empathistic me (not sure thats a real word) decided I wanted to help them all!! That's kind of hard when you aren't good with people, don't know who feels this way, and don't know how you'd help them. I'm sorry.
This is the best I can do at this point. I can't save them, or you.
But if you're hope is lost, you are in pain, if you've thought about giving up; Me too. But I'm still going. Not because I have a dream to fight for, or because I have faith that I'll be saved. I'm still going for the sake of it. For another song's melody, for another sunrise, for another laugh with some friends. So, please Keep Going! You're Not Alone! Never Give In!

love 1 1

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~strangex Oct 17, 2012

for another moment

~bleedingAce Oct 18, 2012

I just wanted to give you a hug

~strangex Oct 22, 2012

i don't think it's the same as a real one,even if i never experienced it;still thanks.

~bleedingAce Oct 23, 2012

yea its not the same

im sorry, i wish i could

~strangex Oct 23, 2012

i think i like you somehow,you're a good person.

~bleedingAce Oct 23, 2012

why thank you

~6-9Changeling Sep 8, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

If you need us, Chelsea and I are always here for you. So great, Ace, so brilliantly inspiring!
~ You're not Alone! Never Give In and Never Back Down!

~bleedingAce Sep 8, 2012

Thanks! and yeah, I'm actually pretty good at the moment though.

~6-9Changeling Sep 8, 2012 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

Thats good! But we're always here whenever you need us!

~bleedingAce Sep 8, 2012

Okay! Thanks

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